Nothing

My demise from this earthly plane
Has been thought out and deliberate
No person is the cause of this
It is merely by choice of free will

Funny how destiny has led me here
To this absence of emotion
Yes I have thought about who it affects
And how I am inflicting grief

I don’t think there is any other way
But to walk to my watery grave
It is where I wish to say goodbye
To the former ties of my young life

To my love
Life had just begun with your arrival
Your reasons are good as mine
Without you there is no life
The world is bare like the leaves
In the autumn of my life
I have turned into an empty shell

I tried looking into the skies
Hoping for relief
From this agony of existing without you by my side
Tears have been shed
Flesh has been cut
Blood and pain has been given
There is nothing left

To my life
You have given me the luxury of luck
The capability to think
Affection of family
Changes to keep things interesting
I just grew up too quickly
Saw too much, felt too much

Never ending laughs
Short lived fancies
Faithful friendships
I am grateful for it all
Glances into who I would become
There is nothing there

As the water engulfs me
I take a final drag of my cigarette
As I knew I would before the end
Visions of a little girl pass by
Dreaming of happiness

In the end
It was loneliness and heartbreak
That led me to this blue abyss
There is just nothing left